"I coin a phrase, For me to change, And pay for my sinz…" – m3l0dic
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity..." Proverbs 17:17 I guess I didn't have any in the first place.After all of my transgressions,I've transitioned into a life of loneliness now that I've healed my past aggression.And,I'm glad I'm alone and peaceful,Instead of sharing my new found energy with those... Continue Reading →
Valiant efforts are laid to waste,Nowadays,When I try to smile without forcing myself to.Sorrow tends to drown out my laughter any time I humor myself with a different hue.I can't seem to think of another color,Besides red,To use on a canvas where I picture myself dead…A truth I've tried to avoid regardless of any joy... Continue Reading →
There's not much I can really say,Being that I still don't want to live till this day.A feeling I've felt ever since the 5th grade,Going on to middle school where I was nothing!But,An outcast to pick on just to feel entertained.And,It didn't matter if I was home,Or,At school,It was all the same.A target for whomever... Continue Reading →
Yes,I often think of suicide,But,Still have the courage to refuse such atrocity.Because,My life was given!It was never mine to take in the first place regardless of how many demons got to me… After all,It's my job to thwart them off of my shoulders.If I don't,I deserve every consequence that looms over my soul.If I coast... Continue Reading →
Who am I to ever feel suicidal as I live a life I have dared not to live?Who am I to cry the Lord's name for my salvation when,I have been way too selfish and ungrateful to give?Just,A nobody with a dream I stopped cultivating with pure love when love became lost for me!A leech... Continue Reading →
I've been a bad person for the last several years,But,I'm not ashamed to admit it.Because,I'm committed to becoming a better person before I cease to exist in,This beautiful life I was given… Yet,I always peg myself with the question:Why am I alive when I could die right!Now…And,Nobody would know until my body is found… Still,Never... Continue Reading →
Recently,Haven’t really been able to write.Been more focused on this feeling inside of my chest so,Daunting.Yet,I rise every morning with a mission in my mind to,Live,Even if,I would rather wither away in a grave of some sort.After all,My world tells me to die often.Besides a Mom who’d rather see me in a coffin,As I’ve been... Continue Reading →
This very moment,I prefer to die. And,I don’t know why. Just,So much Anger overflowing the bottle I’ve kept shut inside I,Can’t seem to notice the brighter side.So,I smoke.Until the smoke becomes a canvas I can paint my dreams on.Even if it all disappears,Eventually.Inevitably… *Side Note* Hopefully everyone reading this right now is feeling good, doing... Continue Reading →
Laying it all out on a page is rough when draft beers aren’t handy anymore.Trying to breathe and be a better person,But,There is barely any oxygen where I lay my head at night,While pondering my true feelings buried underneath the surface,Of my ailing heart.How,I’ve been crying while this world points and laughs at my pain... Continue Reading →
I don't know where to start,So,I'll just be honest.A part of me wants to die!But,God won't let me go through the process.And,I'm not speaking of rebirth,Any kind of change of that sort.I'm talking about a grave,Grim reapers,And,Thy lord... Why?I'm exhausted.Feels like I am too tired to recap my losses.An offset of colors drown me while... Continue Reading →
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