Sober Thoughtz

Sober thoughts are so exciting!
Like,
Being able to smile without feeling like a criminal on the loose.
Like,
A trip to Coldstone just because I can while having nothing to lose.
Often I scream for the freedom my inner child’s demanding for good reason!
But,
Fear of a different life shrouds my mind,
Till I’m inclined to buy a dime at the price of my peace and,
Nowadays I have an idea as to why.
Can’t pay attention to what sucks you dry!
Of energy to uphold a motto you’ve coined during War time,
Against your demons.
And,
Mine just happen to be,
My family!
A tragedy I would’ve loved to avoid,
Ever since it left a void inside my soul,
So,
I’ve had no choice,
But,
To smoke!
And reminisce about where I was within my thoughts during last night’s go at it.
Difference this time around?
The image of a broke addict doesn’t fit me anymore.
Tired of Mary Jane and her lies just to floor my drive,
Till I crash in her arms,
Off course from where I should’ve headed towards.
A moment where I get on my knees for a prayer that will alleviate my fear of standing up to keep going forward…